Monday, October 18, 2010

life's what you make it.

Through the years, I have learned how important family is. You always hear how important they are, but it’s one of those things that goes in one ear and out the other, at least that’s how it used to be for me. That all changed about three years ago when my dad had a non-cancerous brain tumor. He had to have a surgery to remove it. During the surgery, there was a complication, and it resulted in him getting short term memory loss. Because of this, our family had to adjust to a new kind of living. My dad can no longer work. At night, he can’t remember what he did that day, etc. Our family had to become a lot stronger because of this. This kind of abrupt change in a family member is impossible to get used to- I am still not totally used to it. We had no choice, though, to accept it the best way we could and learn to live with it. It came as a surprise then, when about a year ago, my dad was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a rare form of blood cancer. A million questions ran through my mind- Why him? He’s very religious and goes to mass almost every day- why did he deserve this? Was it a punishment? Why did God let this happen to him and my family? For the next couple months, he was in and out of the hospital constantly, reminding me of his six week stay at the hospital three years back. Now, luckily, he is in remission. The doctors say that the cancer will unfortunately come back some time, but we are very hopeful for him to stay in remission for a long time.

The thing to get out of this story is very simple- family is the most important thing you can have. Before all this happened, I never thought about how lucky I was or how blessed I was to have such a loving, supportive family. Unfortunately, it took devastating changes in my life to make me realize it. I now never take anything for granted that I do with my family. Even family dinners can mean everything. Of course, this is easier said than done and at times, I’ll be annoyed at my mom or mad at my brother, but I try my hardest not to. Also, because my dad has short term memory loss, he doesn’t remember little arguments I have with him or if I am ever in a bad mood. It teaches me to focus on the important, loving aspects of my family and to not get caught up in the small stuff that gets me upset. My advice to you is to remember how vital family is. Also, no matter what they do, it is because they love you. Don’t take them for granted. Try to let the feeling go that you’re too cool for them- stay in one night and just spend time with them.

Also, remember that God is always there for you with any problems you have. Since my life has changed, I look to God a lot for strength and hope. Without Him, I do not know how I would have the strength to keep going and be positive. When my dad first was diagnosed with cancer, I was so confused with God. I wondered why he would do this to him. I didn’t know if it was a punishment or he just simply let it happen. Now, I have realized that He does not put anyone through anything that they cannot handle. He has made me a stronger and better person through all of this. He is looking out for every one of us and we just have to have faith to be able to see it.
.... A mini talk that I said in a weekly lunch ministry group. Thought I'd share it.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

i've got some issues that nobody can see.


It's for the new MTV show, World of Jenks. Everyone should check it out. It really gives you another perspective of the world and of the people in it. It also makes you really appreciate the life you do have and it makes you realize what you take for granted. Basically, Andrew Jenks follows around various people for a week to see what their lives are really like. He's followed around anyone from a rapper to a homeless person to an autistic guy. It's definitely one of my new favorite shows.

no one can find the rewind button now.

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to critisize,
hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in you hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breahte

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
But you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
inside of me, threatening the life they belong to
And i feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe.


This song came on the radio today and I got so excited. I remember being obsessed with this song in seventh grade. I don't think I ever really listened to the lyrics until now, though. To me, this song is saying that life is short and we can't go back in time. Because of that, we all must live our life to the fullest and not regret what we have done. We can't change the past, so we might as well make the most of it and learn from our mistakes.

This song also reminds me of what someone told me the other day. I was at a boring program for school and they were talking about finding the right career in life. One of the speakers was saying that you have to just follow your passions in life. He then repeated something a former coach had told him- in life, you will not regret what you have done but what you haven't done. I think that this is true for the most part. Who wants to live life wishing they had done something in the past that it is now too late to do? When scared of doing something, think to yourself- What's the worst that could happen? Take a leap of faith and just do it. Because, after all, life's like an hourglass glued to the table.