Tuesday, October 30, 2012

life is too short to spend another day at war with yourself.

"... and the world we live in will be either better or worse, depending on whether we become better or worse. And that's where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are."

Because of everything that's happened with my dad with his memory loss and cancer, I've learned that you can never fully understand or get used to a tragedy in your life. As I've gotten older, I am able to see different aspects of the situation that I couldn't see when it first occurred. For example, when he first came home and had no short term memory, I focused on how it affected me and my immediate life because I was so young. I tried my best to avoid getting emotional and to just adapt and get used to the fact that he was going to depend on me more than the other way around. Now, although I still struggle with those aspects, new struggles come to the surface. I can see the way my dad's disability has affected his potential at living a full life. I can see everything  that he would've been able to experience, but now never can. I can see how his friends are affected; they essentially lost an irreplaceable friend. Furthermore, I can see what my mom has lost as well. I now realize more of what that may feel like, which I could never have fathomed six years ago.

Sometimes, when I become overwhelmed and distraught over these and other realities, I get frustrated with myself, wondering why I would still get upset after all these years, when I should already be fully accustomed to it all. I realize, though, that my maturing mind is just grasping the traumatic situation in new ways. This is what happens with any major obstacle we face in life. We can never fully get over it. This may seem unfortunate and pessimistic, but I see it as an ever present chance to learn more about myself and others and to be able to grow as a person. I would undo my dads memory loss in a heartbeat, but since I can't, I know that God will use it to teach me lessons, pushing me to be the best person I can be. If everyone at least tries to take this approach (it can be downright impossible at times, even for me), life will seem brighter and peace will be achieved.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

everything is temporary.

congratulations! you are not dead yet.

Congratulations! If you are reading this, it means you are not dead yet! That’s amazing! That’s wonderful! You’ve done it! 
By waking up this morning, you have already bested a lot of people. By standing up and going to work, you’re way ahead of the game. By eating breakfast or drinking coffee, you’re better off than a majority of Earth dwellers. Hooray! 
Does it seem silly to celebrate something so obvious, so mundane? It shouldn’t. Think about it. You closed your eyes last night and on pure faith, you assumed you’d wake up today. Maybe you didn’t even consider the alternative (because how morbid would that be? To fall asleep every night wondering about death). Maybe you tossed and turned and worried about this morning. Maybe a combination of the two. But you fell into slumber anyway. You turned your body off on the blind hope it would turn back on this morning. And it did. It did!
Well, that’s cause for celebration, don’t you think? That’s reason enough to use this day for something good, something right, something productive.
That thing you want to do? DO IT! Just go do it or start doing it! You are not dead yet. Don’t you get it? Don’t you see? That means you have plenty of time. And time, as everyone knows, is money. And money, well, it can’t buy happiness but it can certainly get you close. Or something less materialistic. You get it. 
Call your parents! Kiss the person you love! Tell your friends you appreciate them! 
Look. I get it. Candle in the wind, blah blah blah. It sounds hokey. It sounds like self-help nonsense. It sounds dumb. But there’s some faulty thinking going on there where you ruminate on the time that’s passed and you think it’s been wasted. But it hasn’t been wasted! It’s all been leading to now, to you, to what you’re doing now. Embrace it. Take all those memories and hold them close and examine them and then let them go. Then, do whatever you want. 
Do not give up. Do not believe you can’t change. Don’t think about the end. Don’t think about what’s going to happen or what might not happen.
Focus on this one thought: You are not dead yet.
Well, that’s all the motivation you need, isn’t it? 
Did you know that Rodney Dangerfield only “made it” after 15 years out of the business as a family man and a salesman? Or that Ricky Gervais didn’t sell the idea for The Office until he was 40? Or that Van Gogh died in obscurity and shame? The point is, this life is unpredictable. This false idea we have that everything has to happen NOW NOW NOW, that immediacy takes precedent, that success is measured by how often and how soon, it’s just no good. It makes us washed-out at 30. It makes us tired and defeated at 25. It makes us sad. It makes us unproductive. It makes us nothing.
You are alive and that means anything can change. Anything can happen. (Maybe within reason. Maybe there are obstacles beyond your control. Maybe it’s not that simple.) But what if it is? Or at least, what if you can control the way you’re thinking about it? Or rather, not control but tweak, or not tweak but at least consider. Consider! There are, of course, different levels of privilege, different lives, different problems, different circumstances. I’m not suggesting this is universal. I’m not suggesting it’s a fix-all, or a cure, or even easy. For someone lucky enough to be alive, though, try to at least, consider:
You did it. You woke up. And if that’s it for today? Then, that is okay. That is great. That is fantastic.
Because, hey! You are not dead yet.
So stop acting like you are.
thought catalog.

Monday, October 15, 2012

"life is too short to spend another day at war with yourself"

In life, it's so easy to lose yourself and begin to change yourself for the benefit of others.  In reality, people's "truth" and their beliefs does not need to be validated or agreed with by others.  In order to be at peace with yourself and to be truly happy, you must remember who you truly are and not let that be compromised by others, no matter how hard it is or what the consequences may be.  That way, even if you feel that people seem to never see your side, you should feel accomplished and truly happy, as you truly fought for yourself and gave yourself the respect that you deserve.

"evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and openness of people who embrace life"