Thursday, March 20, 2014

I was recently looking through old pictures on my phone and came across this screenshot.  At the time, I screenshotted it because my mom's message really struck me.  At the time of this conversation (last fall), my dad had just found out that his cancer came back, and that he had very large tumors on his chest. Because of his short term memory loss, it took him a while to ingrain the knowledge that he had cancer into his memory. This time was extremely scary for my entire family. None of us had any idea of what the future would bring for my dad. For me, everything seemed to be falling apart and I had no way to control any of it. Being away from home was overwhelming and stressful, especially because I had to keep up with school even though I was constantly thinking and worrying about my dad. Scary, negative thoughts were always going through my head, and I was always preparing myself for the worst. When I got these texts from my mom, though, I began to see it all from a different light. I couldn't control my dad's cancer or what would happen to him, but instead of using all my energy worrying and being pessimistic, I could spend my time remaining hopeful by praying and going to the grotto alone or with my friends.

I hope to one day have the strength and the trust in God that my dad naturally has each day. Despite all of the horrible things he has gone through, his faith never falters. Instead, he remains confident that God will continue to be by his side, and my family's side, and that everything will be okay. Some days, it takes a lot of extra effort to maintain this mentality because all you want to do is yell at God and feel defeated. However, I hope to use my dad as a constant example to live my life like him every day regardless of the difficult, troubling events that may be occurring around me. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Below is a blog post from my little sister, Margaret.  Everyone check out her amazing blog at Absolute Compassion!  Rockkk on, sista! 

“The fact is that when you make the other suffer, he will try to find relief by making you suffer more. The result is an escalation of suffering on both sides.” - Thích Nhất Hạnh

Obviously when you are hurt by someone you want to hurt them back. It’s the first instinct. It’s a defense mechanism. But think where that will get you with that person. It will lead to so much more suffering and heartache. No one wants to be around a spiteful person who will just do stuff to hurt you.
That is just so genuinely mean and sad that someone would just want to make you suffer. But you will always encounter those people. If you love someone and you want the best for that person, why would you want to cause suffering to that person? It makes zero sense to me but recently people do shit just to hurt me. How am I supposed to react? It just gets to me. It works. Their mean spiritedness hurts me. As much as I don’t want it to, it does.
How do I act on it? I can’t just let it go because I have such anger and resentment. Giving a reaction will just give that person what they want. But who would want that negativity and drama in their lives?! This person is toxic and spiteful and it’s not fair. It just proves how they shouldn’t be in my life. So yes, you are supposed to let it go and do whatever you need to it away from you. Block them. Do whatever. No matter how bad I want them to be happy and want the best for them, they just want me to be sad. Why is that ok?
Know that if this is the case for you, your frequencies just don’t match. The level of awareness just isn’t the same and there is nothing you can do.
Bottom line, there is nothing you can do about it. The only option is just to let it go. If you don’t let it go there will just be more suffering. Pointless suffering. Pointless negativity. Get that negativity out of your life and live in YOUR truth