Wednesday, November 28, 2012

"Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself."
- Edmund Lee

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

45 life lessons, written by a 90 year old.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.9. Save for things that matter.10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.24. The most important sex organ is the brain.25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’27. Always choose Life.28. Forgive but don’t forget.29. What other people think of you is none of your business.30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.33. Believe in miracles.34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.37. Your children get only one childhood.38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’dgrab ours back.41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.42. The best is yet to come…43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.44. Yield.45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Monday, November 26, 2012

just dance til the morning light.

There are things in my wallet I will never use
I'm the 51st member of a god awful group
Connected by rain, they said you're all the same
But I don't know, I don't know if they're telling the truth
Like a field of rice I've grown out of
An Olympian came to fill the shoes you knew
Oh who can reach the circuits that I could never twist
So now you can cross me off that god damn list

Cos there's always that someone who'll be easier on your eye
So forget the politics of living alone and just dance til the morning light

I saw you in the background the other day
On a television see some story grey
You were sat on the steps of the new courthouse
Spinning that wheel, you said you'd show me how
You chased me through a carriage on a train
But I reached the next one before you came
And I pulled out the pin between yours and mine
I kept going, you got left behind

Cos there's always that someone who'll be easier on your eye
So forget the politics of living alone and just dance til the morning light

I heard you were looking for a man to leave
But I can tell you that I'm not the one you need
I'm always three steps behind the dance and the times 
Well if I can't change for you, then I won't change for me
Oh as stubborn as it is, as stubborn as I am
I can tell you that there is no pearl in this clamOr a diamond maybe, I stole its seed
But it was only to try and get you home with me

When there's always that someone who'll be easier on your eye
So forget the politics of living alone and just dance til the morning light

Friday, November 23, 2012

"i just want you to know that you're very sepcial and the only reason i'm telling you is that i don't know if anyone else has"

“So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.”

I recently finished the book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and LOVED it. I especially loved this quote because it explained that everyone is who they are right now because of their past. This can be discouraging at times. If past events have been tragic or difficult, it can seem impossible to move past them. However, as the quote says, the future is at our fingerprints. WE have the power to interpret future events the way we want to and to do things WE want to do that we haven't done yet.

Every situation we come across is neutral.. It becomes good or bad when we analyze and evaluate it. Since I've realized this, it has been my priority to interpret every situation positively. Obviously there will be some obstacles that I get hurt by and wish didn't happen, but I hope that I will at least afterwards realize that it happened to teach me a certain lesson and that I've become a stronger person for it. Simply acknowledging that you overcame an obstacle and have learned something means that you are taking future events and using them to make you a better person. 

No two people see a situation the same; everyone has their own reality. It's our job not to conform to others' reality, but to delve into each situation subjectively, striving to see the love and the growth that is in each one. If we head to the future with this in mind, life will seem less daunting, and you'll realize that you CAN get through anything.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”

Thursday, November 15, 2012

19 things to stop doing in your 20s.

1. Stop placing all the blame on other people for how they interact with you. To an extent, people treat you the way you want to be treated. A lot of social behavior is cause and effect. Take responsibility for (accept) the fact that you are the only constant variable in your equation.
2. Stop being lazy by being constantly “busy.” It’s easy to be busy. It justifies never having enough time to clean, cook for yourself, go out with friends, meet new people. Realize that every time you give in to your ‘busyness,’ it’s you who’s making the decision, not the demands of your job.
3. Stop seeking out distractions. You will always be able to find them.
4. Stop trying to get away with work that’s “good enough.” People notice when “good enough” is how you approach your job. Usually these people will be the same who have the power to promote you, offer you a health insurance plan, and give you more money. They will take your approach into consideration when thinking about you for a raise.
5. Stop allowing yourself to be so comfortable all the time. Coming up with a list of reasons to procrastinate risky, innovative decisions offers more short-term gratification than not procrastinating. But when you stop procrastinating to make a drastic change, your list of reasons to procrastinate becomes a list of ideas about how to better navigate the risk you’re taking.
6. Stop identifying yourself as a cliche and start treating yourself as an individual. Constantly checking your life against a prewritten narrative or story of how things “should” be is a bought-into way of life. It’s sort of like renting your identity. It isn’t you. You are more nuanced than the narrative you try to fit yourself into, more complex than the story that “should” be happening.
7. Stop expecting people to be better than they were in high school — learn how to deal with it instead. Just because you’re out of high school doesn’t mean you’re out of high school. There will always be people in your life who want what you have, are threatened by who you are, and will ridicule you for doing something that threatens how they see their position in the world.
8. Stop being stingy. If you really care about something, spend your money on it. There is often a notion that you are saving for something. Either clarify what that thing is or start spending your money on things that are important to you. Spend money on road trips. Spend money on healthy food. Spend money on opportunities. Spend money on things you’ll keep.
9. Stop treating errands as burdens. Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions. Focus and attention span are difficult things to maintain when you’re focused and attentive on X amount of things at any given moment.
10. Stop blaming yourself for being human. You’re fine. Having a little anxiety is fine. Being scared is fine. Your secrets are fine. You’re well-meaning. You’re intelligent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. You’re fine.
11. Stop ignoring the fact that other people have unique perspectives and positions. Start approaching people more thoughtfully. People will appreciate you for deliberately trying to conceive their own perspective and position in the world. It not only creates a basis for empathy and respect, it also primes people to be more open and generous with you.
12. Stop seeking approval so hard. Approach people with the belief that you’re a good person. It’s normal to want the people around you to like you. But it becomes a self-imposed burden when almost all your behavior toward certain people is designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.
13. Stop considering the same things you’ve always done as the only options there are. It’s unlikely that one of the things you’ll regret when you’re older is not having consumed enough beer in your 20s, or not having bought enough $5 lattes, or not having gone out to brunch enough times, or not having spent enough time on the internet. Fear of missing out is a real, toxic thing. You’ve figured out drinking and going out. You’ve experimented enough. You’ve gotten your fill of internet memes. Figure something else out.
14. Stop rejecting the potential to feel pain. Suffering is a universal constant for sentient beings. It is not unnatural to suffer. Being in a constant state of suffering is bad. But it is often hard to appreciate happiness when there’s nothing to compare it to. Rejecting the potential to suffer is unsustainable and unrealistic.
15. Stop approaching adverse situations with anger and frustration. You will always deal with people who want things that seem counter to your interests. There will always be people who threaten to prevent you from getting what you want by trying to get what they want. This is naturally frustrating. Realize that the person you’re dealing with is in the same position as you — by seeking out your own interests, you threaten to thwart theirs. It isn’t personal — you’re both just focused on getting different things that happen to seem mutually exclusive. Approach situations like these with reason. Be calm. Don’t start off mad, it’ll only make things more tense.
16. Stop meeting anger with anger. People will make you mad. Your reaction to this might be to try and make them mad. This is something of a first-order reaction. That is, it isn’t very thoughtful — it may be the first thing you’re inclined to do. Try to suppress this reaction. Be thoughtful. Imagine your response said aloud before you say it. If you don’t have to respond immediately, don’t.
17. Stop agreeing to do things that you know you’ll never actually do. It doesn’t help anyone. To a certain extent, it’s a social norm to be granted a ‘free pass’ when you don’t do something for someone that you said you were going to do. People notice when you don’t follow through, though, especially if it’s above 50% of the time.
18. Stop ‘buying’ things you know you’ll throw away. Invest in friendships that aren’t parasitic. Spend your time on things that aren’t distractions. Put your stock in fleeting opportunity. Focus on the important.
19. Stop being afraid.
thought catalog.

Monday, November 12, 2012

"My lord God, I have no ideas where I'm going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it'll end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone." - Thomas Merton 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

"life is nothing if you're not obsessed."

This weekend, I went on a weekend long silent retreat.  It was amazing to get away from everything and reflect about my life and about my relationship with God.  At first, it felt weird leaving my phone, my friends, and everything for the weekend, but I'm so glad that I took that time for myself.  

It's sad that so many people miss out on life's most precious moments because they feel they're going to miss out on a social event or simply because they don't want to seem "weird" or different from everyone else.  I definitely fall into that sometimes.  For example, I used to not want to study abroad during the year for fear of missing out on campus or of having my friends "replace" me.  I'm happy I've realized this and have overcome it because although those are legitimate possibilities that could happen, I would miss out on an amazing opportunity that will help me grow as a person and learn so much.  

I love the quote, "life is nothing if you're not obsessed".  It emphasizes the necessity to be passionate about your own life and to dive into it, searching for new and exciting things/people to explore.  It's so incredibly easy for people, especially in college, to become complacent and to just conform and simply go through the motions.  That is NOT a way to live.  The quote, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone" also captures this important way to be.  You aren't living unless you're pushing yourself to be the best that you can possibly be.  And to find that, you must try new things, and make mistakes on the way.