I call myself an FFP: former fat person. And when you’re an FFP, you will always see in yourself what people used to bully you for. I grew up on the road with my father—yes, Ozzy Osbourne—but I came from a very, very small village, where everyone called me Kelly Smelly With the Big Belly Whose Dad’s on the Telly. It hurt so badly to be judged like that. Even now I don’t consider myself skinny. But I have put a lot of hard work into my body over the years, and in the process, I’ve really learned to love myself. I want you to love yourself too, so here are my Dos & Don’ts for getting this kind of body confidence.
DON’T wish you looked like so-and-so
Women are so unforgiving of themselves. We don’t recognize our own beauty because we’re too busy comparing ourselves to other people. No, we are not all Gisele Bündchen; we’re not all Beyoncé. But I can tell you even the most beautiful girls in the world have felt insecure. And just seeing the pressure my friends Kim Kardashian and Kate Moss are under makes me never want to even be the prettiest woman in the room. There is no such thing as perfection.Try this: Look in the mirror. Find one thing you like, whether it’s that you have long eyelashes or beautiful hands. Start there. Think, “Well, I’ve got this, and a lot of other people don’t.” You’ve got to look at what you do have, the tiniest things. Especially since it’s the little things that bring you down. I used to get picked on because I don’t have a baby toenail, for God’s sake! (It’s the weirdest thing: It kind of looks like a sloth, my baby toe.) But I just take a moment to look at myself, and I’m like, “Wow, I actually have an all right nose. And people don’t realize that underneath my little bit of fat, I actually do have abs. So that’s all right.”
DO shut up the judgey voices
Especially your own. Yes, it’s a challenge to find the positive sometimes. It takes me a moment to get there, I’m not going to lie. When I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and I’m just like, “Oh, my God, I look so awful,” I think, “Wait. Hold on a second here. I haven’t worked this hard for this long just to go back to being that person again.” It’s like having a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, and I try my best to ignore the devil.Sometimes it’s other people’s voices you have to shut out. That’s what happened with me and Christina Aguilera, which people don’t understand. She called me fat for years. One night on Fashion Police I said, “F—k you. Now you’re fat too.” I didn’t say I wasn’t fat. I said, “Now you know how it feels.” And I’m sorry, but I stand by that. I make a point on the show never to say anything about anybody that I wouldn’t say directly to their face. I’m famous, and she’s famous; it doesn’t mean I can’t stand up for myself. I took it for 10 years and finally decided to be like, “You know what? I’m done.” And that’s the last thing I will ever say about it.As for that high school mentality, if you’re still hanging around people who are going to put you down, you need to stop and reevaluate your friends and move on. You don’t need those kinds of people in your life. If some dumb bitch says you’re not beautiful, don’t go on her word. What does she matter? Sorry about the language. I know, I’m awful like that. But it’s all perspective.
DON’T force yourself into a bikini
I don’t really like wearing bikinis. And if you don’t either, don’t make yourself. The first time I actually wore a bikini was two years ago! And who says you have to? I’m not good in the sun—my skin burns very quickly. If you want to be a little more covered up, go 1950s retro. Find a cute suit with a frilly skirt attached to it, and rock that. The thing is, you’ve got to get dressed and say to yourself, “If somebody else doesn’t like it, f—k them.” You feel great, so work it, own it, and love it.
DO follow my lead…glamour mag.
Which is not to follow anybody’s lead. In November I dyed my hair gray. As soon as the Chanel campaign came out with the girl with gray hair, people started saying, “Oh, I love it.” But I did it because of a magazine clipping I found when I was 13—and because I’m obsessed with The Golden Girls. Maybe I’ll do yellow next. Maybe I’ll do green. But it’s one of those things where there is no such thing as cool. I’m the most uncool person on Earth, and I love myself. I don’t want to be cool! I feel good in my own skin because I’ve accepted the fact that I’m me. That’s what’s so great about being alive and being on this planet: Everybody’s different.