Monday, January 30, 2012

just breathe.

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."

In life, no two relationships, situations, events, or people are the same. Comparing just makes it worse and attempting to change it to be the way you want will never work.  For example, my relationship with my dad is very different than most people's relationship.  Because of his memory loss, our conversations never go deeper than what my favorite classes are in college and they are constantly being repeated as if I haven't explained it a hundred times.  Recently I called my house to check in and he was the only one home so we spent about ten minutes chatting.  I was happy to hear from him, but it made me sad that he'll never truly know many things about me and my life and we can never have the relationship we could've had before his surgery.  I sometimes watch my friends who have close relationships with their dads and wish that I could go to him for help with my calc homework or have him ask how specific things in my life are.  This way of thinking, though, just makes it worse.  It's impossible to go through life like this.  Instead of focusing on the negatives, I need to constantly remind myself that at least he loves me and cares about my life, something that some people can't say about their dads.  It's hard and I would do anything to change it, but I can't.  All I can do is change my way of thinking and stay as positive as I can.

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