That's how life is. There are uncertainties and some things won't always turn out how they should. You can't pressure yourself into something you don't want to do or being someone you don't want to be. Sometimes in life you HAVE to be selfish to make yourself happy. You need to be content with yourself and your life to actually live. You may end up growing up and becoming yourself based around someone. He can end up molding how you are and what becomes of you. How are you going to know who you are without this person? Finding YOURSELF is very important. You shouldn't be wasting your life being unhappy. It's not worth it. It's not worth the wasted time. Life is too short to be anything but happy.