Do not look forward to the changes of life in fear;

rather look to them with full hope as they arise,

God will deliver you from out of them.

He has kept you hitherto,

do you but hold fast to His dear hand,

and He will lead you safely through all things;

and, when you cannot stand,

He will bear you in his arms.

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow;

the same everlasting Father who cares for you today

will take care of you then and everyday.

Either He will shield you from suffering,

or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.

Last night, my sister showed me this prayer and I've been obsessed with it ever since. Currently, my family is going through a very scary, difficult time. Last week, my dad had a stem cell transplant, which involves high dose chemo that wipes out his entire immune system. In order to keep him alive, they infuse him with his healthy stem cells. This process of revitalizing his immune system takes time, so he is currently at extreme risk of infection, and now has to spend 7-10 days in the hospital. He sleeps all day, needs help walking, can hardly eat, and has become increasingly irritable. 

This current situation has obviously left each member of my family struggling through it and constantly searching for strength to continue through their day. Personally, it has been really hard for me to be away at school and have to go to my classes, do homework, etc. as if nothing is out of the ordinary. A lot of the time, I feel like a zombie and completely out of it, as my thoughts are solely centered around my dad and how he's doing. All I want to do is be at home with my family, not sitting in the library studying Neurodevelopmental Disorders.

Reading this prayer has left me feeling that maybe I CAN get through this. That maybe I really do have enough strength to keep living my life while all of this is going on. God is there for me even when I feel completely alone, guiding me towards peace, hope, and faith. The most I can do is accept Him with open arms, even when it seems easier to reject Him and just dwell on the worst. Also, this prayer made me think about all of the gifts God has given me to help me overcome this dark time. Specifically, God has given me the absolute best friends at Notre Dame. They have left me feeling completely overwhelmed with love and support countless times, and they go above and beyond to make sure I know that they are thinking of me and praying for me. I feel so lucky and blessed to have them in my life, and I don't know where I would be without them. I see God working through each one of them every day.

I copy/pasted this prayer on a "sticky note" on my laptop desktop. Now, every morning and whenever I feel down, I will read this prayer and remember that God is with me and will guide me through this journey.

“don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.”

It's so important to make sure that you always take time to just simply be.  So often, we get wrapped up in doing what we think we should do and what everyone else thinks we should do. Sometimes, you gotta just let your hair down, make a nice cup of tea, and relax.  Some of my best thinking and reflecting occurs during this time, not to mention I feel so relaxed and rejuvenated afterwards. In a world of business and constant bustling around, it's easy to get caught up. Resist the need to keep up with everyone else and do what YOU need to do to make yourself peaceful and happier. Enjoy the simple pleasure of doing nothing and be endlessly grateful for the little things that make up who you are.

"people can't hurt you unless you let them."

Lately, I've let certain situations get the best to me to the point where my happiness was completely revolved around it. This makes me extremely frustrated at myself because all I want is to forget about it all and move on and regain my happiness. I had the realization last week during a low point that I had to take full ownership of my feelings and start actively working to make myself feel better. Before, I was relying on the situation to mend itself and for others to somehow fix it all. However, there's only so much others can do. I can only be as happy as I let myself. It's not always easy, but it's possible and completely worth it. This might mean taking a step back from things/people that are making me unhappy despite how difficult it is or giving myself little pep talks throughout the day. As one of my favorite quotes says: ".. nobody said it would be easy; they just promised it'd be worth it." One day at a time, I am determined to get back all my happiness and be okay, and so can you. No matter what, you can overcome your problems and be led by the greater good of your dreams and your future. We'll do it together.

have no fear moving into the unknown.

This week, I decided to go back to the beginning of my blog and read every post in chronological order. It took a few days, but I loved seeing how much I've grown in the past year and a half and how much I've learned. It gave me a chance to reflect on my life and gain a clearer view of what kind of person I am and what I want to be. It also helped me to see that even in my darkest moments, I rose above them eventually and became a better person for the hardships and struggles. That leaves me with hope that present obstacles will eventually be a distant memory linked to lessons and experiences that I can one day look at with eyes that have moved past it all.