"life is nothing if you're not obsessed."

This weekend, I went on a weekend long silent retreat.  It was amazing to get away from everything and reflect about my life and about my relationship with God.  At first, it felt weird leaving my phone, my friends, and everything for the weekend, but I'm so glad that I took that time for myself.  

It's sad that so many people miss out on life's most precious moments because they feel they're going to miss out on a social event or simply because they don't want to seem "weird" or different from everyone else.  I definitely fall into that sometimes.  For example, I used to not want to study abroad during the year for fear of missing out on campus or of having my friends "replace" me.  I'm happy I've realized this and have overcome it because although those are legitimate possibilities that could happen, I would miss out on an amazing opportunity that will help me grow as a person and learn so much.  

I love the quote, "life is nothing if you're not obsessed".  It emphasizes the necessity to be passionate about your own life and to dive into it, searching for new and exciting things/people to explore.  It's so incredibly easy for people, especially in college, to become complacent and to just conform and simply go through the motions.  That is NOT a way to live.  The quote, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone" also captures this important way to be.  You aren't living unless you're pushing yourself to be the best that you can possibly be.  And to find that, you must try new things, and make mistakes on the way.

never wait until tomorrow to chase your dream.

Today, I was reading my journal from the silent retreat I went on last year and I came across some entries that reminded me of some important lessons and values that I too often forget:

I want to leave the world better than I found it. That means strengthening all of my relationships and keeping them going even if we're miles and miles apart. Also, that means spreading my story and inspiring people to live with love. Now is the time to start. Never wait until tomorrow to do something nice for someone or to chase your dream. The future starts now and there is no better time like the present. I know those are very cliche but it's true.

"My lord God, I have no ideas where I'm going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it'll end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone." - Thomas Merton 

 

"the ability to keep living and loving when everyone would understand if you gave up is true leadership and strength."

[from same retreat talk as previous posts]

Although he may not seem like one, my dad embodies Christian leadership as well.  He may not be able to be the stereotypical “man of the house”, but he is an inspiration and role model to me through his deep devotion to God and his strong faith by putting himself fully in God’s hands.  He is always joking around and never lets frustrations or obstacles bring him down.  He stays strong and accepts his sickness and disability and learns to live with it.  Also, the way he physically cannot remember a lot of unimportant things teaches everyone not to dwell on the arguments or stresses that may happen.  He doesn’t let these downfalls take away from the memorable, loving moments.  He shows me what is truly important in life and that to handle inevitable ups and down, faith is essential to stay strong.  Also, by spending his time volunteering at Misericordia, he doesn’t wallow in self-pity like he could do.  He still makes serving others a priority and puts others before himself at all times.  

the point is to live everything.

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.

The point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.

Perhaps then, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live the way into the answer.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

when bad things happen to good people.

While I was on the retreat, one of the books that I read was When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner. 

To me, When Bad Things Happen to Good People is simply saying that God cannot control what happens to us, but if we let Him, He can control how we deal with it.  Everything doesn't happen or a reason, but we can find meaning personally in everything so we can create opportunites to grow through it. By giving suffering meaning and reason, we are able to serve God and teach others to be better people. 

- entry from my journal




Impactful quotes from the book:

Ask yourself "if this happened to me, what do I do now, and who is there to help me do it?"

We pray to you, O God, for strength, determination, and willpower, to do instead of just to pray, to become instead of merely to wish.

God does not send us the problem; He gives us the strength to cope with it.

Love is not the admiration of perfection, but the acceptance of an imperfect person with all his imperfections, because loving and accepting makes us better and stronger.

"i'd rather live my life believing god exists and die finding out he doesn't than live as if he doesn't and find out he does."

Last week, I went on a three day silent retreat.  It was an awesome opportunity to just sit back and relax for three days as we basically had all day to do what we wanted. I spent the three days reading three spiritual books, journaling, meditating, and napping. I learned a lot about myself and about how I want my relationship with God and with others to be. Here's an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote that describes what I've learned and how I think everyone should live:

I learned to let go and reflect on my relationships with others and to thank God for giving me such an amazing family.  I was reminded that although my family has gone through some difficult times, we all still have a lot of love for one another which is very special.  I also challenged my faith and what it really means to fully love and be devoted to God.  I remembered the phrase "God is love" and realized that we show our love for God through our love for others and for ourselves.  In the book, "Crazy Love", it says that "God meausres our life by how we love".  We are called to think of everyone we meet as being in the likeness of God and to treat them how we'd treat God.  I am going to try to live this out by being patient with my family, kind and understanding to my friends, and open and loving to new people.  I am going to strive to maintain my healthy relationships and strengthen the ones that may be weakening.  I want to die being remembered for my love for others and hopefully making their lives better.

everybody's gonna love today.

This past week, I led a retreat called Kairos. I learned SO much about myself and about everyone else on the retreat. It made me remember how much I need to appreciate everyone I love and that everyone needs to remember that you never know what others are going through. Each and every girl that was on Kairos is AMAZING and beautiful just the way they are. I love them all so much and I hope they realize just how much they taught me and how much they all mean to me.

“Promise you’ll remember: you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”