“That is why we must not be surprised if we are in for a rough time.... God is forcing us on, or up, to a higher level: putting us into situations where we will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than we ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us”

Recently, my dad received some bad news about his cancer. In the past week, he has had to undergo many tests and scans, which has proved to be very difficult because of his short term memory loss and other health issues. Everything has taken twice as long as it needs to be and we have to constantly repeat what is going on and remind him of the unfortunate status of his cancer. During times like this, it's so so easy to dwell on how unfair everything is and how my dad and my family have done nothing to deserve any of these hard times. It doesn't make any sense and there is no way to fix it or make it go away, and so it feels justified to become angry with God for allowing any of it to happen. 

I came across the quote above during a philosophy class this past semester. I love it because it acknowledges that we have no idea why bad things happen to the best people. Although we can't understand why we have to go through personal obstacles, God vows to never leave us alone and we must remain confident that we will only become stronger, better people on the other side. Recently, this quote has given me a lot of strength because it reminds me that I have more love and patience than I sometimes feel I have. Inevitably, I will still have my moments of frustration, sadness, and anger, but this quote helps me move away from that unhealthy place and towards a place of acceptance. Especially when we go through obstacles and tragedies, it's almost impossible to fully accept that God has a plan for each of us that we won't ever completely understand. However, I find comfort in knowing that God will help me as much as I let Him and that these trying times are providing opportunities to become the best person I can be.

I was recently looking through old pictures on my phone and came across this screenshot.  At the time, I screenshotted it because my mom's message really struck me.  At the time of this conversation (last fall), my dad had just found out that his cancer came back, and that he had very large tumors on his chest. Because of his short term memory loss, it took him a while to ingrain the knowledge that he had cancer into his memory. This time was extremely scary for my entire family. None of us had any idea of what the future would bring for my dad. For me, everything seemed to be falling apart and I had no way to control any of it. Being away from home was overwhelming and stressful, especially because I had to keep up with school even though I was constantly thinking and worrying about my dad. Scary, negative thoughts were always going through my head, and I was always preparing myself for the worst. When I got these texts from my mom, though, I began to see it all from a different light. I couldn't control my dad's cancer or what would happen to him, but instead of using all my energy worrying and being pessimistic, I could spend my time remaining hopeful by praying and going to the grotto alone or with my friends.

I hope to one day have the strength and the trust in God that my dad naturally has each day. Despite all of the horrible things he has gone through, his faith never falters. Instead, he remains confident that God will continue to be by his side, and my family's side, and that everything will be okay. Some days, it takes a lot of extra effort to maintain this mentality because all you want to do is yell at God and feel defeated. However, I hope to use my dad as a constant example to live my life like him every day regardless of the difficult, troubling events that may be occurring around me. 

"My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome."  

This quote was the mantra for the meditation I did today. It epitomizes how I want to live each and every day. In life, the only actions I can control are my own. Because of this, I cannot let others' behavior and reactions to me define who I think I am and what I think of the world around me. As long as I seize each moment and remain the best person I can be, everything will fall into place. This mentality would be impossible if I took others' actions personally. Inevitably, some people are going to react negatively to me and will treat me badly or will simply not like me. I refuse to take these reactions personally because they do not have anything to do with me; they are reflections of their own wounds they have deep inside themselves. It means that I simply do not attract similar energies as them, and that we are not compatible in the moment. If I approach each person with love, there's absolutely nothing more that I can do. I must work to avoid focusing on what I think others want me to do or what I think I'm supposed to do to reach a specific outcome. Instead, I need to breathe and simply stay present and peaceful in each moment, leading with my most authentic self and my soul's deepest values.

"life happens while you're busy making other plans"

"Know that you literally are where you are supposed to be.  You are learning this stuff exactly when you are supposed to.  You have to learn some stuff before you move on."

My mom said this to me earlier this week.  I was venting to her about different problems in my life that I'm too hard on myself about.  During this specific conversation, I was feeling discouraged and frustrated with myself; I felt that I wasn't living up to my highest potential.  I was looking for life to happen an exact way and it was increasingly straying from this ideal I had in my mind.  

This quote from my mom made me stop in my tracks.  I had never thought about it this way before.  Even though I tried not to, I always held high expectations for my life which inevitably led to constant disappointments.  This quote really spoke to me because it told me to stop and just live life.  By overthinking everything and having set expectations, I was refusing to let life truly happen.  

After this conversation, I vowed to myself to strive to go with the flow and be open.  Things may not always go my way, but at the same time, the best things in life happen unexpectedly.  As long as I stay true to myself and continue to foster my important relationships, life WILL work out.  It won't be easy to get out of my head, but the simple acknowledgement and acceptance of this tendency is the first step to allowing myself full freedom to live the best life possible.  It may not happen the way I initially want it to; however, it has the potentially to be so much greater than that, making it all worth it in the end.  

but you are not alone in this.

Cold is the water
It freezes your already cold mind
Already cold, cold mind
And death is at your doorstep
And it will steal your innocence
But it will not steal your substance

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your handHold your hand

And you are the mother
The mother of your baby child
The one to whom you gave life
And you have your choices
And these are what make man great
His ladder to the stars

But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand

And I will tell the night
Whisper, "Lose your sight"
But I can't move the mountains for you

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Earlier this summer, a friend and I were discussing why bad things have to happen to good people, like when someone dies young or when a kind, selfless person seems to never have things go his/her way.  Unfortunately, no matter how much one ponders this or gets angry about it, there will never be a rational, concrete answer that will please everyone.  Because of this, trust and faith in God is completely necessary.  Whenever I find myself troubled by this thought, I remind myself that unfair events occur in life no matter who it is.  However, God is there to help those struggling through these obstacles.  He is there amidst the low points, providing patience, strength, and hope even during the lowest moments.  


In my life, countless things have happened that could easily make me frustrated and angry towards God.  Many of these struggles tempt me to think "why would God ever let this happen to me and my family", but I resist.  Multiple times a week, my dad asks me questions like, "so you just finished your junior year at Notre Dame right?" (I just finished my freshman year) and "what day is it today?".  Does the fact that my dad basically knows nothing of my life keep me down? The answer is no. Of course, I feel overwhelmed and extremely sad when I think about how desperately I want to be able to fully share my Notre Dame experience with my dad because of how much he loved it there.  I feel like just giving up when I think that no matter what I say or do, he won't remember, so what does it matter?  However, I have no choice but to pick myself up and continue on with life, knowing that God is with me and will provide me with the strength to keep going.


The fact of the matter is what happened, happened. Nobody can go back and undo the complications in his brain surgery. There is nothing that can ever get his short term memory back. My dad can't do anything to have his cancer completely leave his body. That's the way life is. What my family and I can do, though, is move forward and live every day positively and with as much love as possible. I'm not undermining how hard it can be at times, because the journey can be disappointing, defeating, and tragic. All anyone can do is try to keep moving, remembering that God will always be there to remind you of how much you can handle with Him by your side.

"he didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."

I know I have a lot of posts about my dad, but I thought it was necessary to have one celebrating him on Father's Day! He never ceases to teach me lessons through his never ending faith, strength, and kindness. Just today, my family was in line for brunch and we got to talking to a lady in front of us. As it always does, his brain surgery and subsequent short term memory loss came up in conversation. He explained it all to the lady, and finished the story with "but yeah, I'm really lucky with the way it all turned out". Then, when she asked him how he felt about it all and if it was scary he replied, "no I'm not scared at all. I have my family here with me and I believe that God is always with me, and that everything happens with God there, so I know I'll be okay. I just take it as a lesson and a way to be a better person." This casual conversation reconfirmed just how amazing my dad is. I don't know anyone else who would think that way, especially when the obstacle of cancer was also thrown at him a few years ago. The fact that not remembering anything twenty minutes after it happens does not phase him is a sign of true courage and complete trust in God protecting him. My dad will always be my role model; I hope I can grow to be as strong and selfless as him. Love you, Dad!

get out there and show the world what you're made of.

Too many of us fall into the trap of our own minds. We all just need to let go and be ourselves! I know it's hard, believe me, but would you rather look back on your life and see mistakes but know you did everything you wanted to and you didn't hold back, or would you rather look back and see all the opportunities you missed just because you let fear and over-thinking get the best of you? You are the best you there is; embrace it and let your uniqueness shine. Get out there and show the world what you're made of!

101 simple truths we often forget.

The acquisition of knowledge doesn’t mean you’re growing.  Growing happens when what you know changes how you live.

You can’t have good ideas unless you’re willing to generate a lot of bad ones.

A good idea without action is worth nothing.

Change is often resisted when it is needed the most.

Discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want right now. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

People seldom do things to the best of their ability.  They do things to the best of their willingness.

You can’t change other people; you can only offer guidance, and lead by example.

Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know.  And if you never challenge your own beliefs, the list will never shrink.

If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about the topic of conversation than youdo.

The most common and harmful addiction in the world is the draw of comfort.

Growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now.

When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.

It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.  Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.

Most of the bad things you worry about will never happen.  Most of the bad things that do happen will have never crossed your worried mind.

Some circumstances are uncontrollable, but we can always decide how we react to those circumstances.

Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

Whenever somebody discredits you, and tells you that you can’t do something, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.

Every problem you have in your life right now is your responsibility, regardless of who initially caused it.

It’s not so much about finding opportunities as it is about creating them.

Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all.

Paving your own road is intelligent only if nobody has gone exactly where you are going.

What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.

What you don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow.

If you’re waiting for the perfect conditions, ideas or plans to get started, you’ll never achieve anything.

Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.

Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.

You cannot change what you refuse to confront.

If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

The harder you work, the luckier you will become.

Kindness and hard work together will always carry you farther than intelligence.

Lots of successful people have failed as many times as they have succeeded.

Failures are simply lessons that help you prepare for next time.

Being successful is a journey, not a destination.

To be successful does not mean you have to dominate others; it means you have to dominate your own potential.

Your success isn’t just about you.  It’s about how you positively impact the lives around you.

Being busy and being productive are two different things.

Being happy and being successful are two different things.

You have every right to be happy, but it’s up to YOU and only YOU to exercise that right.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

Everyone you meet is better than you at something.  We all have different strengths.  What worked for someone else might not work for you.

When you’re worried about what others think of you, you’re really just worried about what you think of yourself.

The bad news: nothing is permanent.  The good news: nothing is permanent.

You don’t have to settle.  It’s simply a choice you make every day.  If you don’t like your life, then it’s time to start making changes and better choices.

There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’  Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.

No matter how smart you are, you will make mistakes.

Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful and hurtful as the process of fearing them.

Confusion isn’t a bad thing.  It means you’re growing and thinking.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

In the beginning, you need to say “yes” to a lot of things to discover and establish your goals.  Later on, you need to say “no” to a lot of things and concentrate on your goals.

Even if it doesn’t cost any money, it’s not free if it takes up your time.

No matter how you make a living or who you think you work for, you only work for one person, yourself.  The big question is:  What are you selling, and to whom?

Money makes life easier only when it’s yours free and clear.  The stress of financial debt can change a person.

The fewer possessions you own, the more you will use and enjoy them.

Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.

There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to:  Because unlike other things in life - love, money, respect, good health, hope, opportunities, and many more - time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.

Cutting your losses is often better than the alternative.

We sometimes do things that are permanently foolish just because we are temporarily upset.

Screaming at people always makes things worse.

Everyone likes a person who gets straight to the point.

First impressions are oftentimes inaccurate judgments of a person’s true character.

When you’re up, your friends know who you are.  When you’re down, you know who your friends are.

If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.

When someone truly loves you, they don’t ever have to say a word.  You will be able to tell simply by the way they treat you over the long-term.

We rarely lose friends, we usually just figure out who our real ones are.

Just because one person doesn’t seem to care for you, doesn’t mean you should forget about everyone else who does.

Family isn’t always blood.  They’re the people in your life who want you in theirs – the ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what.

Good looks attracts the eyes.  Personality attracts the heart.

In human relationships, distance is not measured in miles but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.

Being nice to someone you dislike doesn’t mean you’re fake.  It means you’re mature enough to control your emotions.

If you aren’t happy being single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.  You have to create your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

Whenever you hate someone or something, you are giving that person or thing a piece of your heart.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.

Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities.

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

You can raise the bar or you can wait for others to raise it.  Either way, it’s getting raised.

In life you get what you put in.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It really is this simple.

Cynicism might seem warranted at times, but it’s never useful.

Everyone dies, some sooner than later, and often unexpectedly.  To know this means you are alive, with a chance to make the time you have left count.

You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself.  You are competing to be the best you can be.

Trying to be somebody you’re not is a sure path to self-hate, and a waste of the person you are.

It’s better to be disliked for who you are than to be liked for who you are not.

Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go.

Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

You can’t make the same exact mistake twice. The second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice.

Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.

Many of the greatest lessons we learn in life we don’t seek on purpose.

You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.

A harsh fact of life:  Bad things do happen to good people.

Regardless of the situation, the sun rises the next day and life goes on.

You never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you have.

We end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

We meet no ordinary people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.

Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.

People are not as beautiful as they look, as they walk, or as they talk.  They are only as beautiful as they love, as they care, and as they share.

Silence is often the loudest cry.  So pay attention to those you care about.

Making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.

Blowing out another’s candle will not make yours shine brighter.

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

Life is short.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

marc and angel hack life. 

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

20 things to start doing in your relationships.

1. Free yourself from negative people.
 – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

1. Let go of those who are already gone.
 – The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need.  When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave.  The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on.  We rarely lose friends and lovers, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.  So when people walk away from you, let them go.   Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you.  It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means that their part in your story is over.

1. Give people you don’t know a fair chance.
 – When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story.  Everyone hasgone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow.  Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.  We meet no ordinary people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.  So appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.  Trust your judgment.  Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory.  Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

1. Show everyone kindness and respect.
 – Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.  There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected.  Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.  People will notice your kindness.

1. Accept people just the way they are.
 – In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s rude to try.  So save yourself from needless stress.  Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.

1. Encourage others and cheer for them.
 – Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So be happy for those who are making progress.  Cheer for their victories.  Be thankful for their blessings, openly.  What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.

1. Be your imperfectly perfect self.
 – In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  And when they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.  Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress.  Be your imperfectly perfect self around them.  We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us for who we really are.  And to those select few, being our imperfectly perfect self is what they love about us.

1. Forgive people and move forward.
 – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the remedy.  It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened.  It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.  Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you.

1. Do little things every day for others.
 – Sometimes those little thingsoccupy the biggest part of their hearts.  You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people.  Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty.

1. Pay attention to who your real friends are.
 – As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones.  Remember, life is kind of like a party.  You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really late.  But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess.  And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess.  These people are your real friends in life.  They are the ones who matter most.

1. Always be loyal. 
– True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable. These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.  When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority.  Loyalty is everything.

1. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.
 – In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in affection.  Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart.  So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern hurts more than angry words.  Stay in touch with those who matter to you.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra effort.  Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.  Paying attention to these people is a priority.

1. Keep your promises and tell the truth.
 – If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT!  If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE!  If you say you feel something, MEAN IT!  If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE.  It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts.  Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies.  Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt.  Lying, cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts.  Never mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours.  Always be open and honest.

1. Give what you want to receive.
 – Don’t expect what you are not willing to give.  Start practicing the golden rule.  If you want love, give love.  If you want friends, be friendly.  If you want money, provide value.  It works.  It really is this simple.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

1. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
 – Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.  Information is the grease that keeps the engine of communication functioning.  Start communicating clearly.  Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other people try to read yours.  Most problems, big and small, within a family, friendship, or business relationship, start with bad communication.

1. Allow others to make their own decisions.
 – Do not judge others by your own past.  They are living a different life than you are.  What might be good for one person may not be good for another.  What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better.  Allow people to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.

1. Talk a little less, and listen more.
 – Less advice is often the best advice.  People don’t need lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive reinforcement.  What they want to know is often already somewhere inside of them.  They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their direction.

1. Leave petty arguments alone.
 – Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.  There are many roads to what’s right.  And most of the time it just doesn’t matter that much.  Read How To Win Friends and Influence People.

1. Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.
 – No one has the right to judge you.  They might have heard your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through.  No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently.  So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right.  What most people think and say about you isn’t all that important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.

1. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.
 – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters?  When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there? 

When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

marc and angel hack life.  

"everything will be okay in the end; if it's not okay, it's not the end."

"Patience child, patience. Remember, life is a journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once there’d be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you’ll see these ‘setbacks’ as giant leaps forward, only you couldn’t see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain calm, call is within reach; all you have to do is show up every day, stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek."

I love this quote for many reasons, but especially because I am personally HORRIBLE with patience. I hate the unknown and I hate waiting for things to fall into place. Struggling with it causes me to overthink everything and constantly talk about my inner grievances, which to a point probably makes it worse and annoys everyone around me. Feeling helpless comes hand and hand with these obstacles. That, to me, is one of the worst feelings one can get. I'm currently in a situation where I can do nothing to alleviate it, except accept it and move on, which is extremely difficult and easier said than done. The only advice people can give me is that it will get better and to look at the bright side, which I do, but I just wish that there was something structured and concrete that I could do. However, I know that time heals all and I am strong enough to get through anything as I have overcome things much worse than this. My impatience and eagerness to fix difficult events only leads to frustration and disappointment. I need to learn to fully immerse myself into optimism and positivity towards the future, because hope is the only thing that will lead me to true happiness and acceptance towards my life. Because, as my friend pointed out during one of my freak outs, "everything will be okay in the end; if it's not okay then it's not the end".