It’s amazing to think that I started this blog almost exactly four years ago.  When I first made the blog, I remember feeling desperate to relate to someone else about all the feelings and emotions I had been enduring.  My dad had just been diagnosed with cancer one year before, and had lost his short-term memory three years before that.  Although at the time, his cancer had made it into remission, I still struggled with accepting all of the obstacles my dad and my family had gone through.  His short-term memory loss especially affected me, as I was constantly reminded of the difficult reality with his repetitive questions and altogether different personality.

First and foremost, I’m proud of my seventeen-year-old self for dealing with these feelings in such a healthy way.  Instead of internalizing my emotions and isolating myself from others, I took my struggles as an opportunity to potentially help others who are also going through various obstacles.  The main goal of this blog continues to be to relate to others in any way that I can.  If a simple sentence or quote strikes someone and lessens his/her pain in any way, I’ve accomplished what I’ve sought out to do.  It means the world to when people have reached out and have told me that their blog inspired them and motivated them to keep going.  The ability to connect with someone in this way affects everyone involved and makes the world feel that much less overbearing.

Although so much has remained the same, I have also grown so much in the past four years.  I have learned so much about myself, and have learned how to truly love and value myself.  Four years ago, I undermined my emotions and thought that being strong meant not feeling sad or overwhelmed.  I wanted to avoid these feelings, and I would get angry with myself when I felt upset.  Now, I accept and embrace these feelings. I realize that these moments of emotion make me human.  Instead of making me weak, they make me strong because I am able to overcome them and remain determined to live a happy, full life.

Life is life and horrible, unfair, scary things happen to the best of people.  Letting this fact dominate your mentality will only cause you to be miserable.  If nobody can change the inevitability of death and suffering, why not learn to liv the best life possible while you can!? Your mortality can serve to motivate you instead of burden you.  Nobody’s perfect, and some days, life will get the best of you.  Simply stepping out every day with the intention to remain peaceful and happy is enough to truly live to your full potential.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Below is a blog post from my little sister, Margaret.  Everyone check out her amazing blog at Absolute Compassion!  Rockkk on, sista! 

“The fact is that when you make the other suffer, he will try to find relief by making you suffer more. The result is an escalation of suffering on both sides.” - Thích Nhất Hạnh

Obviously when you are hurt by someone you want to hurt them back. It’s the first instinct. It’s a defense mechanism. But think where that will get you with that person. It will lead to so much more suffering and heartache. No one wants to be around a spiteful person who will just do stuff to hurt you.

That is just so genuinely mean and sad that someone would just want to make you suffer. But you will always encounter those people. If you love someone and you want the best for that person, why would you want to cause suffering to that person? It makes zero sense to me but recently people do shit just to hurt me. How am I supposed to react? It just gets to me. It works. Their mean spiritedness hurts me. As much as I don’t want it to, it does.

How do I act on it? I can’t just let it go because I have such anger and resentment. Giving a reaction will just give that person what they want. But who would want that negativity and drama in their lives?! This person is toxic and spiteful and it’s not fair. It just proves how they shouldn’t be in my life. So yes, you are supposed to let it go and do whatever you need to it away from you. Block them. Do whatever. No matter how bad I want them to be happy and want the best for them, they just want me to be sad. Why is that ok?

Know that if this is the case for you, your frequencies just don’t match. The level of awareness just isn’t the same and there is nothing you can do.

Bottom line, there is nothing you can do about it. The only option is just to let it go. If you don’t let it go there will just be more suffering. Pointless suffering. Pointless negativity. Get that negativity out of your life and live in YOUR truth

"At all times your world is a projection of yourself. Expansion of self to universal awareness is enlightenment."

I was completely struck by this quote when I first saw it. This quote epitomizes how ultimately, each one of us chooses the world we live in. Sure, bad things happen to good people and we often come across difficult circumstances. It's our job to accept those uncontrollable situations, and to refuse to let them dictate how we view each moment and each day. Letting them dictate your life results in living in fear instead of love.

If you live your life in fear, you let your daily insecurities and daily obstacles define your life and who you are. Instead, we all need to work on living with love. This means that you work to live every moment being the most authentic self that you can be. This means living life fully vulnerable and open, determined to make the most out of every situation. Of course, there will be some days where this is nearly impossible and it'll be a struggle to even get out of bed. All that matters is that you face every day trying your best. By being your best, most authentic self, you are doing everything that you can in each moment. If you do this, you can confidently accept the fact that YOU are enough. Everything that's meant to be WILL fall into place the way it needs to because you're living your life guided by love and gratitude for every moment.

Originally, I had planned to study abroad this semester in Australia. I was so excited to get out of the South Bend winter and explore a part of the world that I had only ever dreamed about. However, last semester, I decided that it would be best to withdraw and stay close to home so that I could spend time with my family while my dad underwent treatment for his cancer. I realized that one day, I may regret going abroad and being away from my family during this time, but that I would never regret the precious times spent with my dad if I stayed at Notre Dame. 

Although the decision basically made itself, it was still a huge disappointment. With this horrible, freezing weather and the additional hardship of two of my best friends abroad, this semester could be the worst, most depressing one yet. However, I refuse to let these situations dictate how I live my life. I'm determined find the little things each day to help me remain happy. Instead of focusing on all the adventures I could be having, I remember that I'm still here with some of the greatest friends, and that I have the absolute best time with them. Also, I challenge myself to meditate every morning and work out every day to stay centered and healthy. 

Inevitably, there have been days where I feel like giving up and where I wish my life could be different. I accept these feelings when they come, knowing that they will pass and that I deserve to let myself feel them. The goal is not to be happy 100% of the time, but to simply accept each moment when it comes and try my best to remain my greatest self no matter what comes my way.

the 20- something's guide to self-acceptance

Set the intention to change. Don’t let yourself regress by being upset over not achieving your goals immediately. Success means that you don’t stop trying. Make peace with those who have hurt you. Apologize to those you owe an apology to. You will be humbled. You will be vulnerable. You will find feelings arising that you thought were dead and buried. Sit with them. Be honest with yourself about yourself. There’s no point in working on bettering someone who isn’t really you. 

Everyone is struggling. Despite what Facebook profiles suggest, nobody is perpetually thrilled with their life. The idea that you have to be is silly.Learn to be okay with just being okay. You do not have to have it all together. Nobody expects that of you, and the greatest things in life usually derive from what would otherwise seem like failure. 

Don’t see negative feelings as hindrances but as signs to be followed. Think of your emotions the same way you think of your physical sense of feeling. Your hand hurts if you put it on a hot stove because your body is telling you to remove your hand before it burns off. Consider what your your internal navigation and feelings are telling you to get away from (or alternatively, move toward). 

Write down the things you loathe about yourself, and be honest.Even if it hurts to be put it down on paper, and you’re hesitant to even write anything because you know this means you have to acknowledge this big-bad-terrible-horrible-no-good thing about you. Once you have a list you’re sufficiently uncomfortable with, dig. Think these things through. Consider why you behave the way you do, what influenced you to be that way, whether or not this is innately you and how these actions or traits affect your life. Work on ways to change the things you determine need to be changed. 

Understand that love is a verb, and is an action, and self-acceptance has everything to do with it. Just sitting and thinking about your positive traits and your desire to reform is good, but it’s not going to change anything. 

Realize that life is beautiful because it is flawed, and so are people. Think about somebody you love, and consider how they don’t fit into standard ideas of beauty and perfection. You love them anyway, don’t you? You even find some of these things more endearing than anything, right? Realize that you are loved no differently. 

Know that there is no right way to live. Success is subjective. You cannot follow someone else’s road map. There is no right or wrong way to do things. By accepting this, you start to realize that your life is perfect and beautiful, just not in the ways you falsely believe it should be. Understand that acceptance does not necessarily mean being happy about everything. It just means you are big enough to give acknowledgement.

thought catalog. 

have the courage to choose happiness.

To me, this article from Thought Catalog encompasses how we need to look at the world every day.  Embrace each morning as a new beginning; challenge yourself to seek out every opportunity to grow as a person and to better the lives of others along the way.

It’s the end-goal of everything we do. It’s why we pray, get married, go to college, slave through tiresome days at the office, endure heartache, buy into fads, and move through (the sometimes unbearable) woes of everyday life…  and more importantly, it’s why we care so damn much about it all. It’s why we are so hurt when our lives don’t become what we had hoped they would be. Its happiness, and it’s at the root of everything we desire. But what we seem to overlook is that happiness is not an elusive state of euphoria that we eventually stumble upon once all of our goals are fulfilled. Happiness is a choice, and you are just as capable of experiencing it now as you will be once your life looks as you think it ideally should. 

Yes. Happiness is a choice. And you can choose it right now. Close your eyes and decide: today, I will be happy. Today, I will be grateful for everything I have, and know that everything I don’t have, I don’t need. See, the thing is, happiness is not contingent upon the next great thing you attain or accomplish. Ever notice that? You work hard for something, you get it, and then the joy of having it fades, just like everything else you have and don’t care about. And you’re on to assuming that you’ll be happy once you have the next thing. It’s how we’ve been conditioned: to work toward being better, richer, thinner, prettier, happier. 

But it’s not to say that aspiring to be better is bad. The concept of growth is, in my opinion, the purpose of existence: everything is for the development of our souls. So what if we took the energy we put toward making ourselves appear successful and happy and put it toward actually being happy, right now. What if we made the next goal to be happy… not in 15 less pounds from now, not in a $15,000 raise from now, not once we have the person we’ve been swooning over, not once we’re better. Just now, just because we’re alive, just because we’re here, and just because there’s something in us that the world needs. Because there is someone, somewhere, who loves us (or will love us) just as we are, right now. 

Happiness, if you think about it, is the biggest conundrum we face. The pursuit of it is why we do basically everything that we do, and yet, none of that effort is necessary: it’s the simplest choice of changing our state of mind. 

But if you’re worried that being unconditionally happy for yourself is selfish, consider this. Once you’re happy, you’ll find that you begin a domino effect. You’ll exude peace to others. You’ll make the first impact and the ripple effect of peacemaking will follow. My inner hippie has always believed that peace for the world around us has to begin within us. We’re all preaching and fighting (note the irony) for a more peaceful existence, and yet we’re not changing ourselves. So for the sake of your own happiness, for the sake of the world around you, and for the sake of everybody who you love and care for, be happy. Choose to fill yourself with love, light and positive energy. 

You choose happiness. You choose what success is. You choose your family. You choose your home. (I personally believe it’s the person or place you always return to, but that’s just me). What you may not realize is that every aspect of your life is changeable, and more important, beautiful, just as it is… because you’ve chosen it. You know what you have to do now, and just like more often than not in life, you know what the right thing is. It’s just having the courage to do it. It’s easy to sit in your misery and feel sorry for yourself. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that worrying about something will change it. 

Have the courage to choose happiness.

thought catalog. 

“happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder”

"The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation.

For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And along the way, lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you."

- Neil deGrasse Tyson

This quote really struck me when I read it today.  Too often in life, people wait around for happiness to find them.  100% of the time, these people will end up disappointed long-term.  It's so important to consciously look for the positive aspects of life no matter what your situation is.  This can be extremely hard and downright impossible at times, but all you can do is try your hardest to acknowledge that life may not be ideal at the moment, but at the very least you will learn something about yourself through the struggles, and you WILL end up on top.  

In my life, a lot of the time I create images in my head of how I want things to turn out and they become so ingrained that I feel like it's the only thing that will make me happy.  In reality though, this is only keeping me from freely enjoying life and finding what will truly make me happy.  I am going to strive to keep this quote in mind and live by it the best I can- by simply living in the present moment, and reminding myself that if I enter life with an open, happy heart and mind, good things will come.

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."

11 important thoughts and reminders for your everyday life.

IMPORTANT: The thing about positive reinforcement and motivation is that often times it wears off. We’re all prone to rejection, setbacks, negative funks, heartbreak and misfortune beyond our control. Those things can seem like (or actually be) sicknesses, and sometimes the right combination of words serves as medicine. Hopefully this isn’t an excruciatingly painful tablespoon of “fruit” flavored cough syrup, and more like not-so-bad instant relief and a cure for the common rut — but make it last. I hope this lands on your bulletin board, in your bookmarks, or somewhere for you to refer to on dull days and difficult times. 

1. You woke up this morning! A lot of people didn’t. And a lot of people who did, won’t survive the day. This isn’t to depress you or make you think about death and get sad and stuff, it’s just a reminder that we’ve hit the jackpot having the opportunity of life. There’s always something or someone to be grateful for right this second, we just have to stop letting monotony diminish the value of and our appreciation for friends, family, good health, food, water, technology, and all that other amazing stuff. Gratitude y’all. 

2. There are some flat out mean-spirited individuals who have made spewing hate and negativity their sole purpose. When you identify one of these discouraging people trying to drag you down, slow your drive, crush your confidence or compact your dreams, don’t engage. Don’t react as if their words hold any merit, and don’t seek revenge. That will only veer you off track and turn you into a pessimist yourself. Do what you do and slap a hater in the face with success. 

3. Don’t compare or concern yourself with everybody else. We all know that person who is so successful, every time you speak to them it makes you want to go home and work on your résumé, but any time spent envying others or wondering why you can’t be in their position should be used productively, pursuing whatever makes you happy. There’s always someone doing a lot better than you and there’s always someone doing much worse. 

4. If there’s something you want, but it’s high risk, high reward — take that chance before you’re no longer able to. Rejection feels bad, failure feels awful, but regret feels the worst. Disappointment that we passed on something and the train left the station without us. A dream, a girl, a guy, words left unspoken – you can erase the possibility of having these regrets down the road, by taking a chance and at least knowing if it was or wasn’t meant to be. 

5. All of the best things will eventually end. I personally hate endings, I won’t even listen to the last track on albums all the way through, skipping back to the beginning before it can finish playing all the way through. The thing is, your current group of friends, the weekend routines you’ve adopted in recent months, the group of co-workers you adore – eventually people move, you leave, casts and locations change, and suddenly it’s a whole new show. Thoroughly enjoy whatever it is you’re enjoying until you right now becomes, “Remember back when…” 

6. Don’t judge. You ain’t Judy, you ain’t Joe Brown, and you definitely aren’t God, so refrain from condemning and labeling others. I know, it’s easy to make assumptions and have preconceived notions, but that’s why prejudice, narrow-minded folks, who confuse their opinions with facts and know exactly how everyone else should be living life are so common. We live in a world where passing judgment is commonplace and tolerant, accepting people are an endangered species. Remember, you simply don’t know a person’s background based on past experiences with individuals of the same gender, race, sexual orientation, belief system, etc. 

7. If you there’s anything you’re doing that makes you unhappy, and it’s being done for the satisfaction of somebody else, stop it immediately. No ifs, ands or buts — your time and happiness should never be sacrificed to fulfill the standards or satisfaction of others. 

8. You can’t remain at a job or in a career field that you despise. When your days off are spent dreading having to return to work or class, you’ve got to get out. It’s easy to think, I have bills to pay and this or that reason to stay miserable, and if that’s entirely true then you have to do what you can to live, but there are still ways of forming a hasty exit plan. Save up the funds to take an extended leave, apply at the place you actually want to work, take some type of progressive step toward a means of living that you find happiness in. That first step is always the hardest to take. 

9. Use your words! If you don’t know the answer, ask. Too often we try to read people’s minds instead of asking, and hoping for others to read our minds instead of us having to speaking about what’s on ‘em. Communication over psychic abilities all day, every day. 

10. Live below your means and you’ll be a lot better off. Even if you’ve mastered the paycheck-to-paycheck life (which is actually like being really good at being really bad at something), budgeting and not buying what you really can’t afford will result in less stress and close calls. 

11. Some problems you’ll have the power to change, other things will be beyond your control. Identify which type of issue you’re dealing with. If you’ve got some say in the matter, let your figurative voice be heard. When it’s literally out of your hands, have faith and believe it’ll improve. If a situation ever gets so bad that you feel as if you don’t have the energy or power to muster up wishing for a miracle anymore, just remember that there’s always a chance it’ll get better, no matter what it is. Keep fighting the good fight.

thought catalog. 

MUST WATCH.

This is one of the best videos I've seen in a while. I'd be lying if I said this didn't make me cry the whole way through. You won't regret it, definitely worth 12 minutes of your time. Everyone can learn a lot about this brave, selfless man and the way he takes the obstacles and hardships that have been dealt to him.

25 things to do before you turn 25.

1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment. 

2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward. 

3. Minimize your passivity. 

4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day. 

5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met. 

6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together. 

7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise. 

8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet. 

9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender. 

10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you. 

11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun. 

12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be. 

13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to. 

14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you. 

15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be. 

16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane. 

17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex. 

18. Stop hating yourself. 

19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to. 

20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it. 

21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise. 

22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first. 

23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it. 

24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro. 

25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open.

thought catalog.

how to make 2013 your year.

With the start of a New Year looming, a popular thing to do is to claim possession of it. That’s right, tons of people are letting it be known via Facebook, Twitter and other social networks that they will be grabbing 2013 by the horns and taking control of it. What a lovely concept. Really, it sounds great in 140 characters or less. Maybe some people are hyped up on fresh start juice, and think that writing out a statement for the rest of the world to see will help those wishes come to fruition in reality. 

Here’s the thing — it’s not going to be that simple. When the clock hits 12 A.M. and it’s officially January 1^st, you’re not miraculously going to be in a different position than you are right now. You won’t suddenly be smarter, faster, stronger or better than you were on December 31^st. There won’t be any miraculous developments or new career opportunities throwing themselves at you. Things will be the same. 

You may partake in the NYE festivities, have a good time, and when you wake up the next morning, you’ll still be the 2012 version of yourself. Same job. Same issues. Same life. You’re still the person who vocalized your desire for change recently, but what you’re doing to make certain those things happen is a whole different story. 

So if everyone wants their piece of the New Year’s pie, how can you actually guarantee yourself a slice? First you’ve got to realize that many of the people claiming they’re going to conquer the world with no game plan or aspirations will soon have a rude awakening. Why? Well, because there are some hardworking individuals out there who’ve spent all of this year laboring and putting themselves in a position to succeed in 2013. Those people are at an advantage because the pursuit of their dreams isn’t postdated. They’re not waiting for a January 1^st, they’re not talking about what they’re going to do and what changes they will make – they are actively going after these things. 

The time spent telling folks that 2013 will be your personal highlight reel could’ve been spent productively working on said highlights. If you didn’t do anything in 2012 to put yourself in a position to succeed in the near future, don’t expect January 1, 2013 to be some type of miracle worker. Don’t get me wrong, a desire to be successful is great and that’s the key to making it. This isn’t about knocking those who claim 2013 as theirs; it’s just a friendly reminder that there are individuals who’ve had the same desires and plans to make next year theirs for quite some time now. With that in mind, it really just means that you’re at a disadvantage, and some dedicated hard work is in order. 

Being positive and wanting to improve is never something to mock, but some people have turned it into an empty declaration. They say what they’re going to do, seeking Likes, Retweets and temporary motivation rather than making statements through their actions. If it’s not something you’re willing to do whatever it’s going to take to achieve, eventually there’ll be some roadblock reason to give up. Ask yourself, is this the real thing, or will you have given up on your 2013 takeover by February? 

The New Year, much like the previous one, will have its share of opportunities. If there’s something, someone, or somewhere you want to be, right this second is as good a time as any to make progressive moves. Being motivated on January 1^st is a piece of cake. It’s the random day in June when you have to choose between the bar with friends or handling important work that’s crucial. It’s the monotonous routines you experience as you beat your craft that make a difference. 2013, much like 2012, will be exactly what you make of it. Just know that there may already be people several steps ahead of you, and embrace the challenge. 

thought catalog. 

only know you've been high when you're feeling low.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch, surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
Well you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

“If we listened to our intellect we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical: “It’s gonna go wrong.” Or “She’s going to hurt me.” Or, “I’ve had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore …” Well, that’s nonsense. You’re going to miss life. You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.”

you need to go after the things you want.

Have you ever been emotion-shamed before? You know what I’m talking about, has someone ever made you feel bad for being honest, for putting yourself out there and articulating your feelings to them? It’s a rare thing to do these days, to really let yourself be raw and vulnerable. We live in an age of posturing. People hide behind their phones, they carefully curate their communication with other people, which makes honest moments few and far between. When one manages to slip itself in, it’s jarring. “You’re being so real with me right now,” the person on the receiving end says. “I don’t really know what to do with all of this truth. We’ve gone off-script. We’re like in the 70s or something.” 

You don’t get anything you want by subscribing to the social rules of today. You remain frozen and in perpetual fear that you’ll come off as “crazy” to someone, you’re unhinged, you are officially seen as someone with no filter. God, I hate that term: no filter. What the hell does that even mean? Like, sorry, that I won’t lie and do this elaborate dance with you? Yes, I must be truly a loose cannon then! 

Don’t follow these rules of modern love. They’re shit. Imagine yourself at age 90 and filled with regret. Imagine being surrounded with “what if”s and “how come”s and not being able to do anything about it because you’re too old now, you’ve been edged out of society and the only thing you have left to do now is die. That’s what will happen to you if you keep on holding the love in.
Let it out. Let the love out. 

Read this quote by Harvey Milk:Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really. 

Harvey Milk said this decades ago but it has never felt more relevant to how we live our lives today. When did we become so afraid to love someone with vulnerability? When did we become so fearful of spilling our guts and being who we are? It sounds corny but it’s true. A few months ago, after a long time of doing the elaborate modern dance and keeping my feelings in, I let them out at 5 a.m. to someone and it didn’t go well. I could see this person make the switch in his mind. I was the “crazy emotional” one now. I told the truth and I was going to pay for my sins. 

We need to move away from this constant need of coming across as calm, cool and collected. WE WEREN’T BUILT TO BE CALM, COOL, AND COLLECTED. If we were, it wouldn’t feel so fucking exhausting all the time. It would, you know, come naturally to us. You know what comes naturally to human beings though? Being open, being messy, being raw, being unfiltered, having lots of feelings. Why should we have to stifle our true nature? 

Let’s go after the things we want, let’s love each other brutally and honestly, and not worry about the consequences. Let’s release the feelings inside of us and let them land somewhere special. Otherwise, we might have a lifetime of longing in front of us.

thought catalog.

"I think it’s intoxicating when somebody is so unapologetically who they are."

"Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself."

- Edmund Lee

45 life lessons, written by a 90 year old.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.9. Save for things that matter.10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.24. The most important sex organ is the brain.25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’27. Always choose Life.28. Forgive but don’t forget.29. What other people think of you is none of your business.30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.33. Believe in miracles.34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.37. Your children get only one childhood.38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’dgrab ours back.41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.42. The best is yet to come…43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.44. Yield.45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.